Thoughts and ideas to inspire, uplift and affirm the childless and childfree, by circumstance and by choice
Over at Living My Life there is a post about a dream that I’ve been thinking about ever since I read it. The dreamer, who recently stopped trying to conceive, describes this part of her life as “a process of firstly digging myself out of a deep dark hole, but at times I see light so I guess I’m on the way”.
Her dream was about having to walk past a large python. Initially she wasn’t worried as she had dealt with pythons before, but this turned out to be an unusually frightening one.
“As I went to walk past he raised himself up and brought his head right up to my face – I had to put my arm up to protect myself and it took all my strength to prevent him coming closer to my head. This was one huge python and somehow I think it was talking to me and making a deal with me, I have no idea what the deal was. It’s a bit foggy but I think I agreed to the deal and then having no thoughts of following through on the deal I started to run to get away.”
As she ran in the dream, people stopped and looked, most notably a woman who has rubbed her the wrong way in her waking life, an “incredibly insensitive and annoying and condescending” person with “a husband, 2 children and lovely suburban lifestyle”.
“My most vivid recollection from this dream was of her standing safely with her family (along with others) watching me as I ran for my life to get away from this snake, that I could now see was chasing me and gaining on me. I knew it was going to catch me, but there was nothing I could do and everyone else was too safe and secure with their families to even consider helping me.”
I think one reason this dream has struck such a chord with me is that it seems incredibly similar to one I had recently, in which I was swimming at a beach with some friends and relatives. Very suddenly I was the only one in the water, which felt much colder, and they were all on the sand in little beach tents with their families while a terrifyingly strong current pulled me further and further out to sea.
I’ve thought about that dream a lot and hoped that if I ever get to return to it (which does sometimes happen with important dreams) I’ll be brave enough not to fight the current but to relax with it, floating on my back in the sun, and see where it takes me. I would so love to know.
As for the dream I read about this morning, I am especially curious about the deal the dreamer made with the snake. My hunch is that it’s a better deal than she may have guessed. After all, the crowd (including the condescending woman) is just standing around. Even though it’s frightening not to feel protected among them, she is the one running ahead. And even though the snake seems frightening, he is actually the source of energy that is propelling her forward. If she ever returns to this dream, I suspect that when she lets him catch up he’ll turn out to be much more of an ally than he seemed.
But in the meantime, how about you? Have you ever had a dream you suspect is about non-motherhood? Do you have anything to add to the analysis of these dreams?
[The beautiful image above appears with permission from Sweet William.]