Inspiration for childless and childfree women

Thoughts and ideas to inspire, uplift and affirm the childless and childfree, by circumstance and by choice

back again!

I’m sorry for such a prolonged absence. I’m not sure why I’ve been away, really. I think it’s partly that you can only write so much about the pleasures of non-motherhood before finding that you actually just want to live the life and stop thinking so hard about it, which is what I’ve been doing. But at the same time I absolutely love writing this blog and I’m a great believer in the worth of the examined life. So here I am, back on the blogging bandwagon and keen to pick up where I left off, if you’ll have me.

A million thanks to the lovely folk who’ve kept checking in and even sent the odd encouraging email over the past couple of weeks. I really appreciate it.

[The lovely image above is borrowed with permission from Yataro1.]


26 comments on “back again!

  1. Rhona
    June 2, 2012

    Good to have you back.

  2. Nell
    June 3, 2012

    Hello 🙂 Wave, wave xx I agree with ” just want to live the life and stop thinking so hard about it”, as it can become a tiresome topic after a while if you focus on it too much. Glad your back xxx

  3. tiffanylo
    June 3, 2012

    I know you mean as well, though honestly, I still feel that this conversation is very important to keep up… After all, parenting folks have an ongoing conversation with each other, on Facebook, etc. and don’t apologize for it, nor would I expect them to do so. 🙂
    Welcome back–I have been eagerly awaiting your return!!

  4. olivia reading
    June 3, 2012

    Tiffanylo, you’re right, the conversation definitely needs to be kept up. Thanks for not forgetting me!

    • tiffanylo
      June 8, 2012

      I had intended to put a “what” in there before “you”–whoops! 😉 Yes, the dialogue must live on! 🙂

  5. Beam_Me_Up_Scotty
    June 3, 2012

    Everyone needs a break – I’ve stopped blogging since I started going to school, last summer. A few people read my blog, mostly close friends – but that really doesn’t matter, because I blog for myself, not others. If I don’t feel like blogging, I don’t – there is no obligation involved.
    I do have many ideas written down for blog posts – I write them down in my “Idea book,” an impressive memory device that I learned about from Barbara Sher’s book ‘I Could Do Anything – If I Only Knew What It Was.”
    After I graduate and get my Library Science degree, I might continue my blog – but only if it serves a purpose for me. It’s better to work from motivation than obligation. 🙂
    Glad you’re doing well!

    • olivia reading
      June 8, 2012

      I’ve read that book too, Audrey. Barbara Sher’s earlier book (Wishcraft I think it’s called) was a huge help to me in thinking a bit more clearly about what I wanted to do. And yes – motivation above obligation every time. Library Science! I hope you do continue to blog. Your story (at least, the bits and pieces I know of it) is extremely blog worthy!

  6. Megan
    June 4, 2012

    Welcome back! Will look forward to future posts no matter when they arrive. : )

  7. Angie
    June 4, 2012

    Welcome back! I’m looking forward to reading more of your wonderful insights.

  8. Living my Life
    June 4, 2012

    Glad to see you back, I was a bit worried about you, but admittedly not enough to do anything about it. I can understand your desire to just live the life rather than talk about it….but happy to hear from you if and when you have something to say.

    • olivia reading
      June 8, 2012

      Thank you – hopefully I will pull off some kind of a balance between the two! I love the way that kind of balance is reflecting in your own blogging, LmL.

  9. Lisa
    June 5, 2012

    So nice to hear from you again! I too feel that blogging is best done for love rather than duty and that it’s fine to take a break as and when feels right for you. It’s always a great pleasure reading your posts no matter how much time has passed since the last one.

    Tiffanylo, your comment about parents having an ongoing conversation is interesting. I suppose in their case they (usually) have an continuing shared experience as the children grow up, whereas for those of us without children the process of coming to terms with childlessness is a sort of doorway that we pass through and then find various different paths to a meaningful life. There will be any number of possibilities and we might find a lot in common for instance with our fellow artists, or those on the same spiritual path, or fellow beekeepers or whatever. I’ve been thinking of putting up a notice in my neighbourhood for a childfree women’s book group…..any thoughts welcome!

    • olivia reading
      June 8, 2012

      Thanks Lisa, that’s so lovely to hear 🙂

    • tiffanylo
      June 8, 2012

      I think I understand what you are saying, Lisa… Perhaps that we all come to the state of being childfree or childless from different places and with different perspectives and life experiences? And yes, obviously my happy choice of being childfree would differ from someone’s experience of attempting to conceive and being unable to do so. In that case, we would not share our initial reason for not being parents. That said, we would both still be “sans children” out there in the world and, therefore, share that experience. I don’t believe most of the parenting folk in my life share the same exact views on the “how” of parenting (or even the why!), but they do have some things in common, such as developmental stages of their kids, school life, and beyond, so I guess I see your point. I still feel like an ongoing conversation is vital for me as a childfree person, though. 🙂 Good luck with your childfree women’s book group–that sounds fantastic! Perhaps there could even be an online book group?! I would join that! 🙂

      • Lisa
        June 13, 2012

        Thank you for those interesting thoughts tiffanylo, and yes I agree that an ongoing conversation is incredibly important. I love your idea of an online book group – would you like to be host? I’d certainly join! 🙂

  10. valkyrie5959v
    June 7, 2012

    I am glad you are back. It is nice to see a bit of ground breaking trail blazing going on

    • olivia reading
      June 8, 2012

      Thanks valkyrie – I’m all for a bit of ground-breaking and trail-blazing!

  11. Luisa
    June 7, 2012

    I’m a somewhat “veteran” blogger. I had my first blog in 1999 and I kept it until 2008. It was one of those “personal” blogs, full of cryptic messages for the people who knew what they meant. I also threw in book reviews, the occasional music podcast and the rest. Then I tried to have “one topic” blogs but they never worked, I got tired and bored. The biggest danger for a blog is becoming “an obligation”, so I hope you don’t let this wonderful space become a burden for you. Write when you feel like it. I follow you on twitter so when I see a post go by I’ll click on it knowing it will be good.

    • olivia reading
      June 8, 2012

      Nine years, Luisa! That’s some real staying power! And yes, I think you’re absolutely right, obligation posts aren’t much more fun to read than they are to write.

  12. Fi
    June 7, 2012

    Hi Olivia

    I came across your blog today while searching for perspectives that might help me make sense of my mixed feelings about whether to remain child-free, or to try for children. What a treat to find your gentle reflections, and the comments of the broader community!

    There is much about your pages (their simplicity, quality, references to baths and books which are passions of mine also, and Mary Oliver’s call to attention) that have made me feel, a little unnervingly, as if I’ve arrived somewhere familiar.

    It has been a delight and relief to discover that some of the thoughts and feelings I’ve had about the prospect of the child free life are shared (and affirmed) by others. With many of my family, friends, and colleagues having chosen to have children (and in some cases explicitly expecting that I’ll follow suit), conversations about my reservations about this, and preference for a child-free life have largely been limited to my husband. I’ve only realised today how isolating it has felt. Thanks for the courage to openly share your own journey – it has been hugely helpful for me!

    • olivia reading
      June 8, 2012

      Hello Fi – how lovely to meet you. And thank you so much for your very kind words about the blog. I feel there are lots of kindred spirits around places like these and I agree, it’s an amazing feeling to cross paths.

  13. aliceleftinwonderland
    October 31, 2012

    I found your blog via “Are We Like Mothers?” and knew I had to read more.
    Thank you for your perspective, and I hope to you continue to share.

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This entry was posted on June 2, 2012 by in chatter.

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