Thoughts and ideas to inspire, uplift and affirm the childless and childfree, by circumstance and by choice
I suspect the ears of other non-mothers-who-sometimes-watch-rubbish-television also prick up whenever the ‘A Woman’s Right to Shoes’ episode of Sex and the City is re-run. For those of you who haven’t seen it, you can watch most of the relevant scenes below if you like.
Perhaps I should provide a warning that the clip contains a bit of bad language, but it touches on so many difficult and interesting points in relationships between mothers and non-mothers that I hope you might be willing to have a look anyway. For context, Carrie previously attended a baby shower at a mother-friend’s house and was asked to take off her incredibly expensive shoes at the door, which she did very reluctantly. Her shoes then went missing.
For me the part of the dialogue that stings a little is the suggestion that Carrie’s life is less ‘real’ than that of a mother, as I’ve had almost exactly that suggestion made about my own life before. And the most uplifting part is the conversation between Carrie and Charlotte about the unfairness of what is celebrated and what is ignored in women’s lives. I love that Carrie is not arguing against the celebration of mothers’ choices, but rather in favour of the celebration of non-mothers’ (and in her case, single women’s) choices too. It’s exactly how I feel.
I’m not hugely excited about exercising my right to have expensive shoes (though more power to any woman who is) and I have a million ideological issues with Sex and the City (which don’t prevent me in the least from enjoying it). But nonetheless, I think this episode creates some really interesting opportunities for discussions of motherhood and non-motherhood.
If you’re interested in the politics of non-motherhood, you might like to read this post about the sense of obligation to be a super-non-mother or this post about the doubts experienced by some childfree women.
But in the meantime, how about you? Does anything in the ‘Woman’s Right to Shoes’ episode speak to your own experience?
[The gorgeous image above is borrowed with permission
from stylist and photographer Peta Rudd.]