Thoughts and ideas to inspire, uplift and affirm the childless and childfree, by circumstance and by choice
For me, online forums and groups are a bit of a mixed bag. It’s not easy to find like-minds among people who identify with the label ‘childfree’. Perhaps unsurprisingly, we’re all pretty different from each other in lots of ways.
Personally, I could never get involved in the hostility and even hatred often expressed about children and parents in some of these groups. Hatred and hostility are a million, million miles away from the choices and circumstances that have created my own life as a non-mother. It is actually a close friend and parent-of-three whose enthusiasm for the idea of this website propelled me into action!
So one of the things I’ve enjoyed about sticking around in a few different groups for a while and getting past all the (to me) slightly awkward ‘I like children…with sauce’ jokes, is that I’ve found there are many other people who don’t come from a place of hatred or hostility either.
Here are some more of the things I love best about about being childfree online:
– I love reading about the special pleasures people associate with their lifestyles, like the time they spend with their partners, families and friends, the interesting work they so often do, the traveling, the reading, the leisurely breakfasts and the lovingly created living spaces.
– I love that there are places in which it is understood that people truly do say astonishing and outrageous things to and about non-mothers. (I don’t think many of my everyday-world-friends really believe it!)
– I love it when people talk about their own childless or childfree role models, like aunts or godmothers or writers or activists who have inspired them.
– I love it when someone posts about feeling downcast or discouraged and lots of people chime in to offer support and affirmation and encouragement.
– I love those exhilarating moments of yes! yes! I can’t believe someone else has noticed that/felt like that/wondered about that too!
– I love the idea that perhaps these kinds of discussions are, in themselves, helping to create meaningful choices for women by showing that being a non-mother can be a brilliant way to live.
So in my opinion, finding and creating lots of value in being childfree online is a matter of picking up whatever you feel are the best bits and leaving the rest alone.
If you’re interested in issues affecting childfree groups, you might like to read a post about the common accusation that we are making a big deal about nothing, or perhaps a post describing an alternative to the popular ‘breeder bingo’ approach.
But in the meantime, how about you? What (if anything) do you value about being childfree online?