Inspiration for childless and childfree women

Thoughts and ideas to inspire, uplift and affirm the childless and childfree, by circumstance and by choice


Sometimes I think, well, as a non-mother I’ve broken with one of the main conventions of adult life in my society and it actually seems to be working out pretty well for me. And then I think, which other conventions aren’t going help me to create the life I most want to live? Because as long as I’m not doing harm to anyone, perhaps I could break with those too. And then, you know, it kind of feels as though the sky is the limit.

[Beautiful image featured with permission from cornflower blue studio]

If you would like read about some of the unique opportunities available to childless and childfree women, you might enjoy a post about the freedom to take risks or a post about the option to be spontaneous.

But in the meantime, do you relate to the feeling that being childless/childfree might just be the tip of the unconventional iceberg?


8 comments on “conventions

  1. rantywoman
    March 19, 2012

    Yes, I do, which is why I’m in the midst of trying to figure out how to leave or at least modify my forty-hour workweek existence.

  2. olivia
    March 19, 2012

    Rantywoman, that was one of my own first steps too. I wish you all the luck in the world with your transition – it’s so worth it!

  3. lmanterfield
    March 19, 2012

    Absolutely! Although I always wanted and planned to children, now that it hasn’t worked out that way, I’m not really surprised. When I look back I can see a trail of unconventional decisions. I wouldn’t exactly call myself a rebel, but I’ve certainly not followed the road most traveled.

    • olivia
      March 20, 2012

      I’ve heard a few women say lately that they experienced a realisation about what they really wanted, rather than the feeling of reasoning their way to a decision. I relate to that entirely and it sounds as though perhaps you do too. Thanks for your thoughts lmanterfield – it’s lovely to meet another traveller on the road less travelled 🙂

      • Claire
        March 20, 2012

        The road less traveled might be lonelier, but that definitely doesn’t make it any less worthwhile or meaningful.

  4. olivia
    March 20, 2012

    Firmly agreed, Claire!

  5. Nicole
    March 22, 2012

    I think I sort of did this in reverse. When my now husband, then partner, and I moved to where we currently live – we both quit our jobs. Ross really wanted to work for himself, so I told him to go ahead and I’d hold down the 9 to 5 while he figured out what he wanted to next. Well, he spent a while working on some software development but they didn’t get it off the ground. He’s tried a couple other things since, but nothing has stuck. In that time, I have very successfully become the bread winner. This bothers people SO much. I make enough money that we are entirely comfortable, but people insist he should get a regular job still. People have even said to me “even if he only made $20,000 or $30,000 a year…” I have no idea what the obsession is with him making money when I am happy to be the provider, and he’s happy exploring life and what he wants to do next. I can only guess it is because I am the woman, and it is outside the norm.

    So, when I became infertile due to cancer, we’d already living like that for a while. It was pretty easy once my emotions calmed for us and I’d recovered some, for us to say “You know, let’s not get on the train of having a baby at all costs. Let’s just enjoy life as it is”.

    I am now working toward self employment. I plan to make the jump to that this summer and we are going to move to a smaller town, which baffles people. But, since we’ve done the above – we are definitely finding it easier to continue to do our own thing.

    (This was a long comment. Sorry!)

  6. olivia
    March 22, 2012

    I love long comments, Nicole, especially such interesting ones as this. Isn’t it odd that a situation in which the two people concerned are thriving and content can still provoke such discomfort among others! It sounds as though you’re creating really wonderful lives together and I think it’s brilliant when these kinds of stories are told, because they show that so many options exist outside of the norms we find represented almost exclusively. Thank you so much for your thoughts, Nicole!

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This entry was posted on March 19, 2012 by in adventure and tagged , , .

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